Why I left my job and started freelancing

I loved my company. I had been there 18 years and I was thriving. But I left, and that too in the middle of a pandemic.

Here’s why.

Firstly — thank you

Firstly, thank you to all those who have reached out and checked in with me. I feel blessed to have so many friends and colleagues. I tried my best to tell everyone personally about my move, and I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you myself. Do connect if you get a chance, and let’s catch up now.

Why leave now?

After 18 years at work, I wanted a rest. As explained in this fantastic article, rest is not a state of doing nothing, but actually an activity. Rest is largely about switching to doing things that are different (opposite even!) to what you usually do.

So, I decided to make time to re-energize, re-skill and re-invent myself for the future. I was convinced that the purpose of my career wasn’t to retire some day, but instead, to make it enjoyable for longer.

Retirement is a relatively new idea, made popular by an industrialized world, eager to replace the old and tired with the young and energetic. One of the most interesting statistics is the retirement age in various countries around the world. No one I know has stopped working in their sixties, and I don’t think I will either.

As we embrace Industry 4.0 and a knowledge economy that knows no bounds, I believe that I will never have a final retirement.

I will never really stop working. I will never really retire. And if I want to go on, I need to sustain myself, by taking a few breaks and re-energizing myself along the way.

The volcano erupts

Work in the 21st century can be truly exhausting. It can be demanding, stressful and all-encompassing. It can completely control your life — if you let it.

I don’t mean to imply that work itself is bad, but just that it can completely take over your life. A volcano isn’t evil, it’s simply the logical consequence of pressure building up from the earth’s interior. Ignoring an imminent volcano eruption isn’t just harmful to you, but also to all those around you.

If work is the buildup of pressure that sneaks up on you, a breakdown is the eventual eruption with the potential to devastate you. This devastation can be both physical and mental, with the latter being less visible and harder to detect, but definitely more dangerous. The good news is that if you’re able to predict it, you can plan for it !

I was incredibly fortunate to develop my career at Arm, which started with an internship in engineering and culminated in a People leadership role that brought out the best in me. Every role had different challenges, and I enjoyed every bit of it. Arm made work not just bearable, but highly enjoyable. I had the opportunity to do all kinds of roles. I had mentors who supported me. I was in a culture that has a deep respect for human beings, and puts people at the heart of business strategy.

But I was still exhausted, and I knew the volcano was going to erupt. Here’s why.

Familiarity breeds comfort

I needed a change of scene, not because I didn’t like what I saw, but because it had become too familiar. Many asked me if I wanted to escape monotony. No, it was not about monotony at all. Arm is a fantastic company, and things change all the time, providing enough opportunities to experiment, and try new things.

It wasn’t the monotony, as much as the familiarity, that made me want to act.

Monotony may frustrate you, but familiarity breeds something much more dangerous — comfort.

The monotony of commutes, routines, meetings and reports was a tough ride. There seemed to be no way around these tasks, and the only solution seemed a constant reminder of their necessity. I admired and respected those that held me accountable. Monotony was frustrating, but got things done!

In contrast, after nearly two decades in an organization I loved, I was changing perceptibly. Even as I was getting things done, I was becoming a bit dull. I wasn’t waking up raring to go. The fire in my belly had turned into just an ember. I had become too comfortable. I had settled in.

I didn’t deserve this, and neither did my employer. I had to take action. Now.

A mid-life crisis?

Let’s recap and summarize. I work in an amazing company. I love my job. My company and I are doing well. But….. I want to leave.

It’s no wonder that some said — “You’re having a mid-life crisis! Just stay there, it’s good for your career”

The very idea of a career is strange to me, and I’ve tried hard to avoid thinking of my work in this way. Work is not an upward slope of bigger and better, and my aim isn’t to shoot for the top right quadrant. Work is something I like doing, that fills me with a sense of purpose, and definitely has an element of fun. And yes, should pay the bills too!

I decided to freelance for a while. To try new things. To experiment. To have a bit of an adventure. To work on stuff that would make my eyes light up everyday. And to study, now that’s something I am addicted to!

I have so much more to say about this, but that’s maybe for another article.

A great organization with amazing people

I have enjoyed every bit of my work life at Arm, and I feel fortunate for the opportunity to work in such a great organization, that I never thought I would leave. When I spoke about my long term plans with my manager and other leaders, I received all the support I could expect to plan my transition. I could ask for no more.

As I said in my farewell note -

Thank you for being such wonderful colleagues and friends, and I hope we can stay in touch. I have only ever worked here, and you are all I know. I am leaving, not to move away from you, but to get closer to what I don’t yet know.

I can’t help but consider the possibility that I could be one of Arm’s many ‘rebounds’, returning after a stint elsewhere. It’s too early to tell, but hey, let’s keep in touch!

What I am up to now

Apart from my numerous side projects, these are my top priorities -

1. Facilitator at Wilson Learning Worldwide, where I am certified for their world leading sales training programs

2. Independent consultant in Leadership and Organizational Behaviour, where I am working with organizations on making behavioural science- informed decisions

3. Executive MSc Behavioural Science student at the London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE) , starting later this year

I’m independent now, and looking for interesting work, so if you have something you’d like to talk about, email me at shyamsadasivan@gmail.com

Phew! That was a bit long, wasn’t it?

But it was necessary, so I could tell you why I took this decision.There’s much more going on, so stay tuned for the rest!

Stay safe.

Shyam